On the challenges of being a child during a pandemic; tips and tricks for raising teenagers and children
The ongoing pandemic is also increasing the challenge of being a parent, reconciling parenting with working from home, lockdowns and the associated restrictions. Our children and young people have also been severely affected by the pandemic.
Whereas it was once possible as a teenager to spend a fun and carefree time of discovery in parks, cinemas, cafés or clubs with a group of friends, young people today are faced with the challenge of exploring new ways to gain important experiences to develop their personality and test their personal boundaries.
What used to be carefree is now associated with stigma and worry. The fear of infecting loved ones or loved ones because of a carefree afternoon with friends has now become part of everyday life.
But as a parent, how can I support my young person to have these important and formative experiences despite the pandemic?
At the beginning, it is important to differentiate which of these experiences are particularly important and how they can be reshaped so that they do not have to be omitted.
The most formative experiences of being a teenager include body changes, sexuality and confrontation with society and culture. In these areas, teenagers learn to develop their own identity, which they will need for their later adult life.
The changes to the body and the associated hormonal changes are one of the biggest challenges for teenagers. In addition to the externally visible changes (pubic hair, breast growth, beard growth, etc.), teenagers experience a rollercoaster of emotions. As parents, we are part of this experience and are often at a loss, even without the additional factor of the pandemic.
Sexuality is possibly the most important experience for young people. This includes first love, first physical touches and kisses.
While physical development and sexuality cannot usually be influenced, confrontation with society and culture can be well supported by parents, especially in these times. By belonging to a society and its culture, young people learn about their own personal boundaries, opinions and values. In this phase, for example, teenagers also learn what role they feel comfortable in society and where their strengths and weaknesses lie.
Tips and tricks for teenagers
- Support your teenager in accepting him/herself and his/her body, explain the body's processes and help with new personal hygiene (deodorant, make-up, shaving, etc.).
- Set a good example by thinking about yourself: Do I accept myself and my body as it is? How did I feel when I was young?
- According to current statistics, social media and the internet take over the majority of sexuality education in adolescence. Make sure that your teenager has the access to sex education that he/she/* needs. Ask whether you can support them by talking to them or researching sexuality. Educate your teenager about misrepresentations of sexuality on the internet.
- Give young people the opportunity to discover their identity even during the pandemic. Create a framework that enables compliance with the measures to combat the pandemic and interaction with peers and society. An example of this could be to define 1-2 friends of the teenager as fixed reference persons even during stricter measures. Create opportunities for outdoor contact (parks, picnics, etc.) if necessary.
- Also explain the political situation surrounding the pandemic and give the young person the chance to form their own values and opinions.
- Listen to your teenagers, even if you sometimes prefer not to know about one thing or another. You are now the most frequent and direct contact person for your teenager.
- Praise your teenager for how good and strong he/she/* has been over the last few months as they have struggled not only with the pandemic but also with themselves.
And our little ones?
The pandemic is a major challenge not only for teenagers, but also for our youngest children. In nurseries and schools, teachers are wearing masks, hand hygiene rules are being introduced, tests are being carried out before lessons and playing with other children is suddenly restricted.
As a parent, how can I support and accompany my children here too?
It is important to be aware of the experiences that children have in kindergarten and primary school.
Gross and fine motor skills, differentiating between the inner and outer world (What is mine? What is yours?) and developing an awareness of time are particularly important at kindergarten age. In addition to motor experiences and experiences through their sensory organs (touch, smell, taste, etc.), children gain their first emotional experiences outside the family through contact with other children. The first friendships are also made during this phase of life. With a lot of creativity, it can be possible to compensate for the lack of experience due to being away from kindergarten and children's meetings.
At primary school and elementary school age, knowledge acquisition, sports activities and contact with peers play an important role. In contrast to young people, knowledge cannot yet be acquired independently and the pandemic has significantly restricted the acquisition of knowledge. This is perhaps the biggest challenge for parents in particular: Taking on the role of teacher.
Tips and tricks for kindergarten and primary school children
- Try to take away the children's fear of the Covid-19 virus by offering them ways of dealing with the virus (hand hygiene, not hugging grandparents, but developing new greetings, e.g. your own handshake, etc.).
- Ensure a consistent daily structure. For example, there should be the same rhythm on weekdays as on school days (getting up, learning, playing, eating, going out, sleeping)
- Limit media times by agreeing fixed times or a time quota with the children. These can be easily combined with working from home.
- Try to maintain a normal daily routine and involve the children in household chores.
- Make sure your child gets enough exercise. Exercise promotes concentration and strengthens children's self-confidence.
- Give children the opportunity to discover their identity even during the pandemic. Create a framework that enables them to comply with the measures to combat the pandemic and to interact with their peers and society. One example of this could be to define 1-2 friends of the children as fixed reference persons, even during stricter measures. Create opportunities for outdoor contact (playgrounds, parks, picnics, etc.) if necessary.
- Even children sometimes feel like the ceiling is falling on their heads, which can manifest itself in "grumpy minutes". Give your child the space to feel this too.
- Create games at home that add variety to everyday life (pot-knocking, obstacle course, balloon volleyball, etc.).
- Praise your children for their strength and perseverance over the past few months.
