At least at the time of writing, Mrs. Holle has covered the world in the most beautiful snow. There may even be a white Christmas in some places.
You may remember the fairy tale character who is responsible for it snowing in the world. Other characters that still play an important role in the Brothers Grimm's tale are the beautiful and hard-working Goldmarie and her ugly and lazy sister. One is a stepchild who has to work hard and wait a long time for recognition. The other is spoiled and favored by her mother.
In the end, however, the hard-working girl is showered with gold. The lazy one, however, is unlucky and loses out on her adventure with Mother Hulda because she is not happy with her.
The telling of fairy tales has been a world cultural heritage site since 2010 and the beauty of this traditional form of storytelling is that it comes from a time when "wishing still helped": In fairy tales, there is balancing justice through punishment for the bad and recognition for the good.
The wish to be well looked after like a princess or a prince is fulfilled, as is the wish to have an influence on the course of events through one's own strength and performance.
Enjoy digital time-outs
Perhaps this Christmas season you would like to read for yourself how the miller's beautiful daughter manages to spin straw into gold and why Rumpelstiltskin tears himself in half. Perhaps you would even enjoy reading it to someone else?
And perhaps there are also other "analog" activities, such as board or card games, which are fun for adults and children alike as a shared experience. In the best-case scenario, mobile devices could even remain switched off during this time without anyone getting lost
Have good conversations
We would like to invite you to pay a lot of attention to your wishes and needs at Christmas and to give them space, both your own and those of the people around you. This is also suggested by Marshall Rosenberg, who uses "non-violent communication" to help resolve conflicts or prevent them from arising in the first place: "If our needs are met, we feel stimulated, moved, energized, grateful, optimistic, trusting and confident. If they are not, we react with embarrassment or irritation, become impatient, or even sad and angry.
Marshall Rosenberg distinguishes the language of the wolf from the language of the giraffe: "Giraffes not only have a long neck and therefore a good overview, they also have the largest heart of all land animals.
A short guide to connecting communication
"Giraffes" honestly express how they feel. They listen to how others are feeling without blaming or criticizing. They express their wishes instead of complaining and nagging.
They separate 1. observations"what I see, what I hear, what I perceive" from
2. feelingswhich trigger the observations: "When I see, hear, perceive this, I feel ..." and recognize their
3. needs behind the feelings and thus make it easier for their counterpart to meet them by
4. formulating concrete, fulfillable requests formulate concrete, fulfillable requests.
A hurt and hurtful "you always do, you never do, you don't care about anything and I always have to do everything on my own anyway" may then become "it's important to me ..., and I feel uncomfortable when I have the impression that I'm solely responsible for it. Can you please ...".
Have a good time
With this in mind, pay particular attention to your needs at Christmas, communicate and listen carefully!
Make time for plans to fulfill your dreams and for creative and meaningful activities. Give the gift of appreciation, closeness, companionship, support and trust. Enjoy joy and laughter, harmony and beauty, good food and warmth and whatever is good for you and those around you.
We at the EAP Institute wish you every success and and a wonderful party!
Literature:
Fairy Tales by the Brothers Grimm, pictures by Nikolaus Heidelbach, Beltz & Gelberg, Weinheim and Basel (1995).
Gerlinde Ruth Fritsch: Practical self-empathy, Jungfermann Verlag, Paderborn (2012).
Marshall B. Rosenberg: Nonviolent Communication, Jungfermann Verlag, Paderborn (2016).
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